I went into this relationship, that grew into a marriage with high hopes, now I think may be I need to accept it's a match not meant to be. We are disappointed in each other and can't meet on an emotional or spiritual level.

I have worked my butt off today, but a customer needed a proposal, so managed to pick up kids feed six for lunch, then 9 for tea, pizza then pudding, then sweep up wash up then two curries from scratch Korma for the kids and Jalfrezi for us. For your information husband all of the vegetables did not peel themselves.I washed the floor once, swept it 11 times for my own amusement I kept score today and wondered how many calories I burnt off.

When the head of the household came home he spots one grain of rice on the stair carpet, the carpet which for your information we inherited and is knackered. Husband goes into one, doesn't notice how inspite fo 7 children in the house its clean tidy the table is laid pretiily with candles and napkins, glasses for supper not a bloody grain of rice or smear of chocolate from the childrens tea in sight. He ignores this and sets about scrubing at some old dry paint on the table as I am dishing up. I ask him not too, but hey he is being reasonable he can do this and ruin my table setting, mental note not to bother.

Would be nice if he noticed ME, you know the person he married... oh but I forget that was all a set up. I am crying this evening not for him or us, but because tonight when he did his ridiculous I am the head of the household shouting in his bullying way at the kids including two guest children Flissy stood up for me, and he shouted at her. I am living with a selfish nighthtmare of a man. I am past caring about him but I have five children to consider I am being pushed into taking action.

I am very easygoing and flexible , I don't hurt at his treatment so used to it now seven years and I feel numb.

Do I continue this charade that's long past its sell by date. Will I be doing myself a big favour by accepting it's time to move on.

We moved house to make it better, and guess what its not its not different not a jot.

I am taking the kids to my Dads in Manchester this weekend I just need to feel this mess can get better .

Sorry to be so wet on a friday X Heres hoping all of you have a great bank holiday weekend.