• Parrent Teacher Association that should come with a Health Warning

    As any of my readers will know I am blessed with 5 fabulous children, who as individuals go to 4 separate places of education and I have been doing this school thing for 14 plus years so well versed one would think. My youngest has started at the most delightful village school, I love the uniform the headmistress but OMG the PTA should carry a serious health warning. I heard warnings about the botox mafia but it so much worse below is an example edited for their privacy of one of the 8 emails I recieve every week.(I have changed the names)

    Remember this is from the PTA not the school

    Dear Parents,(Nice and warm that)

    The following information has been prepared by our star Mum, (Tina Big Tits totally enhanced and can write) and it will also appear in the weekly notes. However, so we can be on the ball, I am sending it out to you now as well. Because of the amount of information, I have put each section in a different colour, so it's easier to see where one bit ends and the next begins. I was going to use neon colours, but decided I looked stupid typing with my sunglasses on!

    A) Thursday we are asking children to come into school dressed in Mufti, with a Book Character theme to tie in with Book Week. For this privilege we are asking people to bring in donations for the Tombola. Donations can be of an adult (e.g. wine, pair of socks, wine, chocolates, wine) or child nature (e.g. pencils, game, soft toy, sweets), or indeed both, if able !

    B)During half term: IDEAL ACTIVITY TO KEEP THEM BUSY: children to decorate their Jazzy Jars with a Xmas theme, and bring them in on Monday 2nd November after half term. Jars may be filled with sweets, bath salts, hair accessories,or any other imaginative ideas. It would be helpful for those with boys to perhaps bring in a boys themed jar, as we are traditionally short of them! Please label the jars with your child's name and class, clearly, on the bottom !

    The jars will be judged on Friday 6th November, and children are limited to entering a maximum of 2 jars each !! The winner of each class 'best dressed' jar, will receive a chocolate Father Xmas, and their helper/carer/Mum or Dad will recieve a bottle of either red or white wine (is there a theme emerging here?)!!

    MIMI Won I never recieved the wine but do have to buy the jar as she had threadworms and I bet the marshmallows are infected!

    CFriday 13th November, we are asking children to come into school (apart from reception and Kindergarten as they have a school trip ) in mufti with a SPOTTED theme. In return, again, we shall be asking for donations..... for the Secrets room.

    This is returning due to popular demand from the children !

    To try and avoid the difficulties we have had in the past, and to make this an enjoyable experience for ALL the children involved, we will be requesting that EACH child who wishes to take part, contributes TWO gifts to the room. Ideally one desirable to a female and one to a male...whatever that may be!! Gifts should be NEW and to the value of a minimum of £5.00, and CANNOT BE ALCOHOL. Waitrose, Sainsbury's, Tesco, Marks and Spencer and Boots already have their Xmas, buy three get one free offers on...so get shopping !!

    We shall, like last year, therefore, be keeping a list of all those who have donated. (Just so they can be nosey) For those who feel that they are able, we would greatly appreciate receiving more then two gifts per child, as these will cover for the children who come from outside of Pretty little village school.

    The list will allow us to be fair to the children who have donated. It is only fair that children who only donate one present (which is fine) can only shop for one gift on the day.

    The Year 2 mums will be able to make sure that everybody's child is treated fairly, as afterall it is the parents' responsibility to provide the gifts, not the child's. (Parents Police YEUK)

    Gifts should be sent in a tied/sealed plastic bag, with your child's name and class clearly marked on the bag.So we can all see the cheapskates hmmm.

    It is REALLY important that people follow this instruction so as to avoid confusion and disappointment. Donations should be taken to the gym on that Friday November, where members of the social committee, will be waiting to take delivery of said goods!!

    And someone should tell them other schools do this with the same great effect without all this red tape. Am considering asking by friend who make executive silver vibrators for two samples to send in guess they would be queueing up for this!

    AND, PLEASE remember that the children absolutely LOVE shopping for their presents themselves, and get really excited about it, so, lets make sure they have a good selection to choose from!!! AND remember, your donation could appear under your Xmas tree!!!

    THANK GOD FINALLY, Monday 16th November we shall be asking for Raffle donations !!!

    They can be of any variety (wine, plants, beauty products, gift vouchers, wine, glassware, dinner vouchers, wine), although feedback from last year was that we ran out of childrens prizes (games, toys)! NO knives! But we can bring alcohol- what a relief

    E) AND Now actually FINALLY (Thank Christ)...on Thursday 19th November we shall be asking for Cake donations for Receptions Cake Bake event!!!

    SUPER SARA SOMUCHBOTOX she can't breath has very kindly and generously agreed to run this new style cake stall, with the idea of the children having lots more fun, rather than just buying a cake from a stall. The children will pay to enter the game and the winner will get to choose their cake. With music and stuff, it sounds brilliant and hopefully will make lots of money as well as being far more enjoyable for the children and adults too!! I soo cannot wait for this one.

    Cakes should be of a cupcake variety as opposed to a BIG cake, as they will be given as prizes to the winner of the games played.

    On top of this I have given £100 in teacher present donations.... a friend has been asked to contribute money for showjumping lesson fund... der these kids are 5 years old. I need at least another £100 in my pocket for the Bazzare to buy back all the items they have taken in over the past two weeks.

    I will of course have to adhere to the PTA Party rules that were emailed to me and although I can't attend the coffee mornings I love the minutes and rulings.

    So have decided to set up the NMAS Normal Mothers At School Group, for people who like a bit of plastic party tat, do know that kids get threadworms and like to show their friends, but most of all are mothers who share the same worries of other normal mothers. (These worries are not that a certain shop is out of pink cashmere shrugs they are the real ones about the real world.)

    No offence PTA but I won't be putting my name forward as I live in outer Beirut, or you would think so when I say Bagshot your noses fall to the ground quicker than a fledgling swallow.

    Come on girls this could be so much fun.

    NMAS rebel

  • Ruda Bay and Beyond

    This Weeks Good Byes

    How quickly a year has gone, all the children have finished school. I waved goodbye to Hurst Lodge after 14 years of school runs without so much as a tear a day later, I had huge waves of emotion as I waved over 8 years of the wonderful Woodcote House in Windlesham school goodbye. Woodcote the place where my boys were able to be boys, building bonfires, climbing trees and learning about life for men. I will so miss the match tea,s Kevins fantastic spread, the huge teapot so professionally wielded by Mrs Mark and the all weather attitude to sport. As a family we enjoyed the ski trip adventure, yes someone did blow up a toilet the frantic day at L'arc and the annual play where boys dressed as girls. Woodcote parenting is a tough job, but sending my boys to you was a good decision you have set them up for life.
    Thank You.

    Holiday!

    The car is packed to the hilt, there are five spanking new wet suits, surf boards and brolleys. Tom is designated navigator as we head off for this years adventure tomorrow. I cannot wait for the peace and fun we have, no email, hey no male yes husband is staying at home.(less said about him the better) I must remember the bottle of champagne for our arrival celebration and photos of the gang en mass as we cross the threshold. We have traded up and are at a Park Dean site which looks terribly middle class maybe this year we won't be the 'Royal Box' from ascot.

    We have booked the kids a private surf instructor called James for 3 hours a day, I am imagining a tousled hair mid twenties blonde, bronzed and beaten by the weather. We shall see.

    I will have to re-pack the car in the morning as Male packing is useless- the surf boards are under three cases ! DERRRRRR and what will five kids want to the minute they see the beach.

    So all pray for sunshine for our summer adventure, just me, Jo, children and the obligatory bottle of bollinger. Cheers.

  • Imaging the lovely dresses and cold champagne


    Laurent-Perrier
    Imagining the lovely dresses, fantatic food and fragrances of the the Sunshine ball.
    So budget is tight am watching 7 dresses on ebay... off to the spirit of summer at Olympia tomorrow to do a little bit of executive shopping and of course work.
    Hoping the weather cheers up for saturdays village day, will be interesting to see what Bagshot does for village day :)

  • Eurovision Time

    It's Eurovision time! That's right, brace yourself because the party kicks off this Saturday. Stock up on sequins, dust off the hair brushes and make sure your ready for Europe's cheesiest TV show. Check out your 'boom bang-a-banging' and grab a bottle of Lambrusco.

    Here is chateau chaos, the limestone floor is down the optiplan kitchen nightmare is shaping up, 3am tuesday I was redesigning the units now colin the fantastic chippy has worked cutting them down and it is looking better but not WOW I wanted and I will having an interesting conversation with the granite supplier. Sinks are in and tap is central:)

    So with still no cooker, kitchen electrics, dishwasher or table so a picnic in the main room infront of euro trash is this weekends plan.

    Now if you really want to dance the night away to decent music get your tickets for www.sunshineball.co.uk.

  • The Sunshine Ball- 27th June- Fabulous Food

    Its not every Saturday i drag myself into the shower and off to a tasting, but Lee arrived on time and off we set to Ascot racecourse to at 09.00am taste the summer ball menu.

    Escorted in the back way we head to the wonderful setting of the Ascot Grill, where Rebecca the executive chef shares with us her vision of a summer menu.

    The Pate although smooth and tasty just to filling for a summer evening in june. The specially designed salad with wonderful little tomberries, light balsamic dressing and mozzarella balls. A Fusion of flavours.

    Then at just after 09.15 we embark on the choice of main course, the presentation is a work art the portion size is filling enough for your average male. The potato gratin dauphenoise is straight out of roux brother repartis, melt in the mouth heaven.

    All this followed by chocolate fountains.

    If you have not got tickets yet, visit the website www.sunshineball.co.uk

    £40 will get you a night to remember

  • Brand Launch Success

    I should be high as a kite, in 12 weeks working just three days a week I pulled off miracles, few mistakes some luck and 16 hour days. But I come home to stark reality a house and an atmosphere I hate. A husband who cannot even look me in the eye and kids who are not happy.

    So I googled the post code I want to live in, and as anyone who reads my blog knows I believe in fate a five bedroom farm house I can afford on my own. I could keep chickens and would not have neighbours.More importantly I would not have the husband.

    My happiest days were in my old house in Windlesham, with just me and the kids yes only me doing all the school runs and chores but decibels more laughter ok so maybe not so much cleaning. To be honest I have had it with the husband regime, he has a problem and it is getting worse.

    The new kitchen will be lovely here but it will not mend all the things that are broken in this family just help sell it.

    Just tired I guess, need to sleep, just wish I had someone to phone, my nan. Hey well done me!

    Sorry bit low, cannot believe I am here in this house with this husband. Sometimes life is so unfair.

  • Working From Home and 4 year old helper

    So I get up at 6.30am to speak to new colleague in Australia who wants to run through a presentation, please note it is 4pm in the afternoon there far more sociable than 6am in the UK. The sun is shining.

    Dial in and four year old appears in the door way, mouthing who is on the phone. I mime go away, she does not want to go away, would like to sit on my knee. With my elbow I am controlling the slide deck and trying to talk about branding while, my meetings book is being coloured in and smiley faced out aggggghhhh. Where is my husband when he is needed!

    Four Year old spots a big opportunity here, wakes up six year old sister, they both now appear in the door with a kellogs variety pack... I nod yes of course they can have this and off they go.

    So call over I enter our kitchen, the kittens are on the table each with a bowl of cereal... smudge has cornflakes and smokey ricecrispies. All 8 empty packs are strewn across the table and six pints of milk has been divided been a variety of mugs, bowls and utensils for breakfast while mum works.

    Teenager surfaces and finishes off the rice crispies the kitten did not eat... oh my god I am such a rubbish working parent!

  • Business Solution: Buy Donuts !

    If you read my earlier entry I was having a chocolate teapot of the day. Until I took the advice of one of marketing guru's Arjan Dijk. When under pressure, see who needs to work to take off the pressure and schmooze them. So actually three departments need to work together, the challenge was with no starbucks within 20 miles and on a business park with only fountains to look at I had to be creative.

    Jump in the go get it galaxy of a vehicle and head to sainsburys. It turned my mood totally around leaving the building was like an adventure.

    Hit the biscuit and cakes aisle, and begin 'biscuit' profiling people and this is what I decided:

    Head of Legal- double chocolate fingers- branded - cadburys of course
    Head of IT- 20 sugar donuts to share
    Product- Chocolate digestives in the tube with reselable lid- they will like the design.
    Website- chocolate finger.
    Channel- rich tea fingers,no fuss ability to dunk and no guilt attached.

    So armed with two sainsburys carrier bags and with a spring in my step i head to business park heaven.

    Suddenly the two biggest problems were resolved over a cup of tea, the biscuits went down a treat and the mountain of a project feels human again.

    Friday tomorrow, if your morning started like mine did then get off to the supermarket and do some executive biscuit profiling :)It works.

  • Work is Challenging!

    I am trying so hard to succeed with this current project I know it means being willing to fail; I am trying not to let a fear of failure hold you back. But today so many set backs, a boss who totally disengaged and deluded we times are suffering so many setbacks due to his total incompetence. I do remember, it takes commitment and persistence to achieve your goals. I'm not going togive up, I can succeed no matter but there are so many in my way.

    While my current boss swans about talking about painting a wall I am managing every other aspect of this global project.

    I would like to go home and never come back, but I won't!

    Off to make tea or coffee, or find vodka.

  • Little Chef- Ceo Ian needs to get in touch

    I dont watch much television but I wanted to see how Heston the perfectionist would approach the Little Chef demise.
    I have fond memories of Little Chef, cups of tea and as a teenager the ultimate hangover cure. What a treat little Chef was, I don't remember a 4 fold menu with ridiculous sudo european offerings, it was just platefuls of comfort food.

    Now having a family of my own we have dived into one for a meal, and found the staff miserable, the restaurants filthy even though they are empty. Heston you are so right they are serving up the cheapest food, it may be fast but it is tasteless.

    Ian Pegley has supposedly been given this second chance to help the ailing chain, from what I saw last night he is hammering nails into the coffin of Little Chef. Where has he been for the last five year, some one should send him the DVD's of Gordon Ramsays kitchen nightmares, as his chain is perpetuating a great number of mistakes. The menu is to big to ambitious, the ingredients cheap and the settings miserable.

    Little Chef food, is overprocessed muck. Start again, serve real chips, good sausage see what Jamie Oliver did with Ministry of Food. Send all your staff on basic cookery courses, put in ranges so they can cook. Hoover, clean up and repair restaurants.

    Jamie Olive or Gordon Ramsay may have turned this around, Heston deserves a prize for taking on the challenge as Ian Pegley really is out of the retail loop.

    Old School Cafe Longcross

    Ian get in your car go down to longross, to the Old School Cafe, I worked with the fabulous owner Miepe Boyd to market this small cafe where she serves the best bacon sandwich in Surrey, dare I say south of England. She keeps it simple the ingredients are local, fresh, the specials are on the black board and you can have your eggs anyway you want.

    Ian and team, my advice:
    Visit Fego's chain
    Visit Old School Cafe
    Make you restaurants more welcoming- stay on brand, red booth seating for families, table for grown ups.
    All of you to work one week in a Little Chef and talk to your customers, eat from the menu every day! Maybe then you will concentrate on what is important.

    I will be watching tonight, how can a management team not have their ears on the customers.

    Good Television, shame the it may completely kill off little chef, Ian Pegley you are the weakest link.

    Loupie

Footer:

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.