For some unknown reason this week was going to be a week of complaints. Now just 4 weeks ago I was totally delighted with my serious investment purchase of cream American Aid Saucepan, they looked fantastic. Within two weeks they were scratched but more worryingly the non stick was coming off. So this monday I phone John Lewis, after a fairly positive call, me not budging wanting a total exchange I jump into car to drive, please note any High Wycombe employee the 47 mile journey to your store. On arrival the manager agrees they are faulty so far so good, no apology but politeness.
Move into the frame 50+ head of kitchen area who is to help me select a replacement (NOT).

Interogation begins, did you put them in the dishwasher yes, pointed out box clearly states they go in the dishwasher, did I stack them, did I use cheap oil, come on Mrs bloody bouquet they are saucepans to be cooked in. I stop the interogation and explain the husband saw some with a strainer lid effect, Assistant says never seen any here out stock changes weekly, points me to Le Creuset that weigh almost the same as I do. I wander around and have a yippee you silly old bat moment when I spot the Meyer saucepans I had described. I am then marched across the store carrying old and new saucepans to be interrogated again.

Please note John Lewis, I do not make a habit of complaining, nor do I drive 90+ miles with a boot full of faulty saucepans for fun. Please note I also needed to buy a Kettle and Iron, but as the assistant in this area could do no more than point to a shelf in the distance and continued to talk about a BBQ at the weekend. YOU lost a sale. I got in my car and purchased both to the tune of £75  from Ed a very likeable helpful man at Asda.

This John Lewis experience was not my first you may remember the miserable assistant in Peter Jones who tried to squash three fascinators into a carrier bag, and who was most put out when I pointed out she had one charged me too much and two I wanted a box!

John Lewis get it sorted please, love your merchandise but your service sucks.

On a positive note, we purchased a retro baumatic cream fridge from Harrods and two of the shelves broke, what a delight when I called they were polite apologised gave me a number. The girl who answered was fantastic, apologised and has organised the replacements to be dispatched for monday if they don't arrive call!

Well bloody done Harrods and Baumatic you could teach John Lewis a lesson in service!!!!!

Royal Ascot 2008 Opening Day

Wear does a girl start. Ascot this year was superb. On the tuesday I was highlighted, nails applied and St Tropez plastered over all visible body parts. Squeezed the parts of my body that have not seen the gym in weeks were incarserated in my Suzanne and Trinny trim pants. Karen Millen swished overhead a bit of negotiation with the zip/flesh and i was fit to trot.

Picnic in Car Park 7 with friends and then off to see the Queen. The stand is very civilised the expanses of wobbly flesh and breasts on high wires have been banished. The crowd is a vision of elegance and decorum.. but we are in the Royal Enclosure. The husband is exchanging betting tips with Eddie Jordan in the queue for a real bet!

Friday 20th- Ascot at its Best

6am I am up as I have an event for 180 at Thorpe Park, conference then on park team build. The car is loaded with champagne, first aid pack, picnic rugs 12, Cushions 65 red large , toiletries for the delegates and flowers. 7am check in the northern coaches have left to head down, all present and on board. Mini Exhibition set up , meeting pod inflated,sound system checked at 10.30am I dive into car to head back to Ascot.

Friday the weather has turned cold so I drag out a dress and coast ensemble with sprigs of flowers. We have a table in the Ascot Grill which is a fantastic watching point for the day, our first celebrity spot is Jim Davidson so really didn't count, then we hit the big time Michael Owen well turned out and pleasant. Jordan has many personna but on Friday in the enclosure she looks beautiful in shades of brown silk and chats to my teenage daughter about Versace lip gloss a shared passion. The food is the real disappointment of the day, the ascot grill that last year had fabulous local produce beautifully presented on the plate, this year is a processed disaster the sausage is grey, 100% cereal the one sad tomato that has been tortured by the grill, my mustard mash looks like something dog walkers have to deal with on a daily basis.

No Points Ascot Grill! To the rude Manageress go back to McDonalds they are missing you.

However cakes and tea served in the Mill Reef Bar were great as was the company, Mrs Adam Helliker wearing a fabulous pill box hat and silk coat, entertained us no end as she critiqued the fashion of the day.

Saturday the Last Day

This was always set to be a little bit of a challenge, go to Windlesham pick up eggs from the farm, pick up boys, be ready for cab at 11am in time to meet guests at the Course. It had rained and our garden was sodden and the clouds looked full with more of the damn wet stuff. So emergency 'Wellie' mission to longacres:

For Felicity- Designer Smartie
For Paula -Lovable Hearts
For Ellie- Cutsie Scottie Dogs
For Georgia- Scrummy Strawberries
For me- out of Africa Giraffe print

When we arrived quite unexpectedley we had our five minutes of fame, photographers clicking like mad interviewed by the BBC. (Only regret my gold suit not on trend and I was suffering bad day hair)

http://gallery.sportinglife.com/Gallery_Detail/0,17732,13260_3718750,00.html

So here I am four days later reminissing about a fantastic three days of friends, food and five whole minutes of fame!

I went into this relationship, that grew into a marriage with high hopes, now I think may be I need to accept it's a match not meant to be. We are disappointed in each other and can't meet on an emotional or spiritual level.

I have worked my butt off today, but a customer needed a proposal, so managed to pick up kids feed six for lunch, then 9 for tea, pizza then pudding, then sweep up wash up then two curries from scratch Korma for the kids and Jalfrezi for us. For your information husband all of the vegetables did not peel themselves.I washed the floor once, swept it 11 times for my own amusement I kept score today and wondered how many calories I burnt off.

When the head of the household came home he spots one grain of rice on the stair carpet, the carpet which for your information we inherited and is knackered. Husband goes into one, doesn't notice how inspite fo 7 children in the house its clean tidy the table is laid pretiily with candles and napkins, glasses for supper not a bloody grain of rice or smear of chocolate from the childrens tea in sight. He ignores this and sets about scrubing at some old dry paint on the table as I am dishing up. I ask him not too, but hey he is being reasonable he can do this and ruin my table setting, mental note not to bother.

Would be nice if he noticed ME, you know the person he married... oh but I forget that was all a set up. I am crying this evening not for him or us, but because tonight when he did his ridiculous I am the head of the household shouting in his bullying way at the kids including two guest children Flissy stood up for me, and he shouted at her. I am living with a selfish nighthtmare of a man. I am past caring about him but I have five children to consider I am being pushed into taking action.

I am very easygoing and flexible , I don't hurt at his treatment so used to it now seven years and I feel numb.

Do I continue this charade that's long past its sell by date. Will I be doing myself a big favour by accepting it's time to move on.

We moved house to make it better, and guess what its not its not different not a jot.

I am taking the kids to my Dads in Manchester this weekend I just need to feel this mess can get better .

Sorry to be so wet on a friday X Heres hoping all of you have a great bank holiday weekend.

 I know that It isn't the end of the world if a boss misunderstands you in every decision that you make. The occasional difference of opinion can add zing to your performance but this is becoming a pail, I need to look at the way you communicate and work out why I am by this one person being so often misunderstood. It is entirely possible that I am not relaying messages well enough for others to perceive me as you I wish them to.

Well take yesterday, I checked out Thorpe Park Conference Centre, sorted the AV requirements, drove from there to the Chessington Holiday Inn which offers exceptional value and standards. Then drove from there to Langley, so nicely nicknamed asbo central to sort several design projects with an agency. On return I am priveledged to an email that tells me a project has been taken off of me, so the new person can write a plan, I had one but as the event is November felt we needed to get the foundations right first.

Only the consultant in all this and now officially 18 days in this role. Believe me I have made a difference.

I have a day off so am going to the gym as I still have these 13lbs to shift that crept on and made themselves very comfortable around my waist!

Determined not to stew about the situation at current work place will focus on doing what is in my remit and exceeding all expectations!

This is how the day went, wake up 6am normal, put on washing machine make tea. Wake up kids 6.30am motivate to eat cereal, chase the young ones into uniform, have shower without injuring myself. (Dodgy shower head..prone to falling on me) Drop off Windlesham, Suninngdale and Ascot then catch train miracle 8.23 get seat, air conditioning working but guess what the signals are playing up.... or is it just that half of Network south threw a sick day as sun was shining. Arrive office 10am not happy.

Then it as if  the new boss tries to burst my bubble every time I share a new idea or how the plan was meant to be. I have tonight tried to get to the root of the problem. Phoned and then spent the whole evening justifying a project that was unsupported from the offset.

I am a Consultant coming to end of current contract, have a few concrete successes to state in next role but can already feel the scape goat mode, L was doing that, I told L, hey come on guys I have recruited three people to replace just 'me' who was doing it all plus managing several conferences along the way.

Now will stop moaning, this role has introduced me to some fabulous people all commited to success but along the way I have met some sloathes, snakes and fly by nights.

I guess that is why I started writing the Bright Girls Guide to Business.

Rule One: Address a problem head on clearly with a solution. This is what I did, the goal posts moved significantly and I adjusted my plan of action to deal immediately with the issue. NO rudeness, the facts where we are, why no blame, and where we are now heading.

I had to count to ten at one point as it did become playground, like he said, she said I didn't know. Why is it business people in a new situation behave like the three wise monkeys see no, hear no, say no...
fear I guess.

Tomorrow is Tuesday, Venue Check Thorpe Park, got to get my gobos in order, and yes I am up at 6am again.

The sun took me by surprise this weekend, it meant revealinga  rather larger me to the general public than in previous seasons. I would appear to have developed a dough like extra waist band, so politely referred to by Johny Vaughn as a Muffin Top. I am bemused as to how the post christmas kilo has morphed into a significant muffin roll of dough that does over shoot the top of my jeans and creates mounds in my t-shirts where mounds should not be.

Diet Day One

Plan
Special K
Jacket Potato at Pub
Home Made Vegetable soup

ACTUAL
Cheerios ( size zero resident teenage daughter had eaten the Special K and replaced the empty box)
Pub Lunch no jacket Potatos- Club Sandwich with chips not a lot of salad, did walk to the pub...and fed some of the chips to the ducks.
Chocolate Eclair- did not eat the shiny chocolate this was stuck to packet
Two slices of toast with crunchy peanut butter.

Tomorrow

Plan
Cheerios
Gym Spinning Class
Soup
Lots of water

I am embarassingly a gold member at Weight Watchers but after 15 plus years of membership I should not have to be weighed in and then listen to some woman holding up miniscule bags of portion sizes and giving tips on how to make celery interesting, please god celery and salad is boring.

Last friday had been booked and in the diary for months, the husband was meant to be doing childcare and I was  to be going to work then for a business lunch at The Capitol in Knightsbridge, 2 well deserved mitchelin stars of gorgeous hotel, right on Harrods doorstep. I had almost memorised the menu, asparagus with soft egg, chicken with double fried chips, fabulous wine list.

And then the day before:

The husband has to go Kent...Grandma to the rescue.
Late night long call Uncle John who is very poorly has now got pneumonia and its not good... friday morning he has rallied around
There are serious problems at Clapham Junction ... I used the underground.

Determined to make the office and the lunch date, I shower jump into my puccini bright blue dress and fishnets with boots, my killer cannot be worn in the rain shoes are in one of my best boutique show off carrier bags.

I am bouyant and excited. I get to work just after nine, and keep my coat on you see I am not a coloured dress type of girl at work, I have and wear 16 varieties of formal black dress. Last fridays number was embellished with large black sequins, I was also drenched in Prada classic perfume, the fishnet tights caused to my total amusement,excitement in some of the older office males.

Jump into cab, change jewelry and slip on my killer heels. It feels like playing truant from school, my two colleagues are as giggly as I am and out every stylish boss is waiting for us in the small bar. The champagne is chilled to perfection, the rose are gorgeous, the food looked great and was fantastic.

It was so lovely to escape for just three hours of lunch in lovely surroundings with wonderful people, I could hear myself laughing.

Like cinderella the dream ended 4pm dash for tube, grab car pick up neighbour head to camberley to see Fliss in Cats. Seated in the front row of the theatre with my fishnets, killers heels and obviously best going out dress I felt like a star of Sex in the City who landed slap bang in the middle of an episode of shameless. Overdressed of Bagshot.

Flissy danced fantastically, Jane and I clapped for her the classiest kitten on the stage, in fact so loud the woman next to us made embarrasing noises. I threw her a my daughter will be star look. (backed up by the knowledge she gets it all that rythym from me.)

So Friday was a success, and I read today that yesterday is ones reputation, so I was a lady that lunched and today is ones future, well the future is looking a bit bleak but my reputation is immaculate

Now not sure whether it is the Ex's wedding, but am in a bit of  a strange reflective mood. Was based in an office today with no internet access which in itself made me twitchy. Listened to various conversations relating to one of the girls weekend, broken phone, lunch with friend and how we should use existing badges for staff with the old company logo on.

So my mobile rings, nothing strange in that the voice at the end of the phone says its Dean, I immediately go teenage wobbly, you know the its him feeling. (How totally stupid) The first love of my life over 30 year ago was called Dean . I asked the caller to ring back at 2pm, it was 10 minutes while I luxuriated in the fact that possibly (NOT) he had still carried a flame for me all these years, of course he hadn't. The Dean on the phone was a sales guy trying to sell me team build activity for a meeting I am planning. Illusion shattered back down to earth BUMP. BUMP. Fourty four years old ...mmmm.

Today was a day of low productivity, the spot on my face seems to be the only thing that has grown and could be productive. I signed off the design for a new badge, wrote 100 words of copy, spoke to several suppliers and discussed at length why I don't think that supplying an office with matching polo shirts will improve the moral, work ethic and god forbid productivity.

Advice of the day stock up on good wine before the budget hits the shelves. (Am seriously off South African red to high in alcohol, to fruity and gives me a killer headache)

Now how am I meant to feel, my children were there, one was bridesmaid in a totally gorgeous gold silk dress with lovely cream roses and the my boys were ushers one in a kilt the other in black tie. They ushered the guests to their seats, and made sure all were well.

I went about life as normal, current husband and I went with our two girls to Ikea, I didn't really give the wedding a second thought. Keeping track of the two diva's is totally consuming particularly when faced with the Easter Crowds at the Wembley store.

It is the aftermath, children returned by their Godfather who I last saw 7 years ago, he does'nt look any different, a little greyer, but still the same time stood still as I thanked him for bringing the children home. We exchanged pleasantries as only the English do. It was the children I was so happy they has a great time, and looking at the few photos it was a most fantastic party. The cake was two feet of white chocolate, his new bride wore a totally wonderful gilded gown and looked stunning. The roses and candles were wonderful. I heard stories of people I have not seen for ten or more years, I went to their weddings, christenings and dinner parties. This was when I felt strange a part of me wanted to meet them for coffee, to catch up to find out what now.Pauline with her three children, mad bad leslie who was my bridesmaid 15 years ago and Liza to see if she is still as stunning. It is a very funny feeling. But I am really glad our three children had a lovely day and were made to feel part of it and truly special. Divorce is a strange thing, you loose so much to gain freedom from one person you loose the friendship of many.

My husband has been fabulous this weekend wielding all his power tools to create the Ikea bits we purchased and transform Flisses bedroom. I did sneak a look at our wedding photos 18 months ago in LAs Vegas, in the Magnolia Chapel, the little white one just us, Vernon, Paula and Sage our wedding organiser, it was wonderful absolutely wonderful.

Off to drink tea and prepare for work tomorrow, still feeling a bit odd about this all.

Happy Easter to you all

The husband did really well, a dress by firetrap that fits and is rather nice, a halter neck top for our summer holiday, two bottle of fab wine, a candle, dried mushrooms as I love porcini rave about it with good olive oil and pasta. Daffodils, dozens of them all around the house.

So Far so good, breakfast of poached eggs on smoked salmon at fegos ( little bit cold) but hey still heavenly indulgent luxury. Read the paper without sharing it with the kids or the husband.

Hit the gym and boxed the hell out of my friends. Am feeling very happy, very lucky and very loved.

Off now to see Scarlet performin little star.

HAPPY TO BE 44. Happy with my life